Batams Up

September 1, 2015 by sethlmccurry 2 Comments

Dear fervent sea cucumber fans, I must begin this chronicle of the last month with a confession. I am no longer living alone and adrift at the edge of the earth. It is unlikely that I will ever return home to find a dozen chickens running around my backyard again and even less likely that the morning gridlock will be caused by a herd of lackluster water buffalo. Fear not, I have not forsaken the sea cucumber farmer profession. After a year and a half of using a hole in the ground as a bathroom, I had to accept the fact that my thighs had become so sturdy (Olympic Velodrome cyclist caliber), that it was time to abandon my modest commode in favor of a more porcelain venue.

Truth be told, our fledgling sea cucumber farm had outgrown the very primitive facilities we were using in the province of Bengkulu. After months of reconnaissance trips and negotiations, this July we moved into a new facility on the island of Setoko. Pulau Setoko is one of over 3,000 islands in the Riau Islands Province of Indonesia, and fortunately for me, is connected to the island of Batam by a series of bridges. Located an hour boat ride away, Batam benefits tremendously from its proximity to Singapore. Its road system is relatively hole-less and its municipal trash collection system is relatively functional. It even boasts a Starbucks and a McDonalds (please do not all rush to come visit at once). Batam is also a Free Trade Zone and major manufacturing center, which means the expatriate community is of a decent size. And so it was that I begrudgingly agreed to live in an idyllic little neighborhood known as Villa Panbil. Who am I to say no to a hot shower and a modern kitchen? Life will certainly be duller knowing that I will no longer find random peoples’ garments in my laundry, as I now have my own washing machine!n And a daily trash collection service means that gone are the days when I would drive down the street totally blinded by smoke, feeling like I accidentally stumbled onto the set of an Apocalypse Now battle scene.

Sea cucumber manor

The neighborhood

I should add that another exciting benefit of living in the Eden that is Villa Panbil is that it comes complete with a gym. I enjoy a good morning jog or swim and try to maintain a fairly active lifestyle. Life in the tropics does not seem to lend itself to such activities, I have noticed. In fact, while tending to my sea cucumbers I have spent hours pondering why the CrossFit trend has yet to sink its teeth into Indonesia. A recent trip to the mall in Batam offered a few possible explanations. It appears that the exercise equipment being sold in Indonesia simply operates on an entirely different level.

Exhibit A:

I am 100% serious, this is exercise equipment.

Exhibit B:

Complete with settings to simulate 1) Walking 2) Jogging 3) Running

Should the sea cucumber business fail, I look forward to a long career as a door-to-door JigglyChair™ salesman in the Midwest.

And while we are discussing sea cucumbers, I should mention that our move to Batam has, thus far, proved a very positive step for the production of my favorite echinoderm. Not wanting to miss out on the party, my indefatigable uncle flew back to Bengkulu several weeks ago to bring the randiest batch of adult broodstock in our possession back to Batam. The day before he was due to depart, my favorite customer service agents at Lion Air informed him that his 6AM flight the next morning was cancelled. Fortunately, none of our slimy cargo were packed, so the flight could be postponed to the following day, this time to an 11AM flight (the 6AM flight that day was once again cancelled by the very disingenuous medium of text message).  In an effort to maintain a perfect track record of ineptitude, the check-in attendants of Lion Air refused to transport luggage packed in a Styrofoam box. If you recall, over a year ago I travelled with three boxes of sea cucumbers, which were packed in Styrofoam boxes, inside cardboard boxes, using the “services” of Lion Air.  So it was that at 11AM my uncle arrived at Hang Nadim International Airport in Batam sea, cucumber-less, unable to get a refund on his original ticket. After appealing to the good people of Sriwijaya Airlines (Lion Air’s main competitor in the least value for money category of air travel) it was decided that the sea cucumbers would not be slumming it. Garuda Indonesia, the flag carrier of Indonesia, was recently awarded with “The World’s Best Cabin Crew,” and as it turns out “The Most Likely to Transport Live Sea Animals.” After nearly twenty hours waiting to get airborne, my colleague left our precious cargo in the capable hands of a Garuda Indonesia baggage handler, hoping the cucumbers would have a brief layover in Jakarta. But the Indonesian airline gods had other plans for us. After nervously waiting in a cargo bay at the airport, we were told that due to excessive amounts of luggage on the first flight from Jakarta to Batam, we would need to return four hours later. By the time our Bengkulu reached the tanks in their new home, they had been travelling for nearly twenty-eight hours, which is about as long as it takes me to fly from Los Angeles to Bengkulu.

Shaken, stirred and everything in between

Trying to get over that jet lag #seacucumberstruggles 

Before anyone calls PETA, I would like to explain that although air travel is certainly not a sea cucumber’s preferred method of transport, research has indicated that sea cucumbers are very capable of surviving for as long as two weeks in a plastic bag with oxygen and salt water, such is their hardy nature. I would also like to add that after a nice period of rest, relaxation, and a few Mai Tais by the pool, the sea cucumbers we brought enjoyed a productive evening of romance. We are now in the process of nurturing their offspring, which, once big enough, will be sent back to Bengkulu to help revitalize a population of sea cucumbers that may well have already gone extinct.

In an effort to welcome our Bengkulu sea cucumbers to their new home on the island of Batam, we also organized a very formidable welcoming committee. The scene was very reminiscent of the first day of high school. Cliques formed. The weedy stock from Bengkulu almost certainly experienced the sea cucumber equivalent of being stuffed in a locker by the jocks of Batam. I have been around a fair few sea cucumbers in my day (not a pick-up line I have ever used), and never seen specimens as robust as these. The largest, weighing well over one kilogram, is a modern rarity, as most wild sea cucumbers that size have all been fished out. And so it is that a new school year begins, filled with high hopes and big expectations.

The jocks

A very very large sea cucumber 

Our new digs

Near the locally famous Bareland Bridge 

New neighbors